By Doktor Z
Before you get all giddy and frisky with the Columbus Blue Jackets trades in the last couple of days, do I need to remind you what the most glaring weakness is on God’s favorite sports team? It was the same damn weakness that we all pontificated over at the start of last season. WHAT, you say? Shall we rewind the reel?
After we “landed” His Blondness Jeff Carter last year along with James “I’ll kick your a$$” Wisniewski, everyone in Jacketsville was high-fiving and getting new player jerseys. There was new found hope and excitement that was unparalleled except for the playoff year and inauguration year. Our ever-so-endearing and beloved Captain Rick Nash (Mister Rick Nash to Red Wings fans) was seemingly satisfied that the franchise had finally found him a top-flight center in Carter. Woo-hoo!!!
But, as Paul Harvey, Sr. used to say, “Here is the RRRest of the story!”. Don’t you miss Paul? What a wonderful part ofNorth America’s rich history of journalists and radio personalities. To Paul…….here, here!! Back to the saga at hand.
The Blue Jackets goaltending situation has long been suspect to say the least. We thought for sure the team would sign a bonafide #1 goalie last season with Mason falling in the back-up role.
And, then came the blast that rocked the R-Bar and left patrons in shock! The absolutely stunning signing of Mark Dekanich to be the back-up for His Cuckooness Steve Mason was unfathomable. Virtually untested at theNHL level, someone sold the Jackets a bad bill of goods. Or were the Jackets so gullible and fell for the old bait and switch?
Nothing against Dekshow, but c’mon, dude! Not who we needed at the time and not who we need now. The rest was history as our hopes went up in flames almost right after the season began. His Cuckooness Mr. Mason spent more time pointing his derriere at the team and not accepting responsibility for his ineptness although the defense sucked, too. Soon after, His Blondness Mr. Carter fussed more over his frosted blond hair then puckology.
And what does management do now, a whole year later? They get His Bobness Sergei Bobrovsky. Nothing against His Bobness but again not who we need right now. Okay, maybe as a back-up but that’s about it.
Dude, the Jackets have laughably the two worst goalies in the league in His Cuckooness and His Bobness. How the hell can that be? How can God’s favorite sports team have the two suckiest goalies? Just check out their statistics if you think I’m over-exaggerating. I won’t toss any peanuts at the newly acquired goaltender Curtis McElhinney who will spend most of his time at AHL Springfield. Perhaps, what was needed at that level.
But, how is it that the Jackets didn’t pick up Tomas Vokoun last year and again missed the boat on him this year. Not that he would have been the total answer but certainly better than what we have now. Or what about Jonas Gustavsson? Again, not a messiah but certainly an improvement. If the bloody Red Wings could figure out a trade for Gus then why couldn’t we? Want me to name a few more goalies that we should have considered or do you get the idea?
If the “organ-eye-zation” is looking at re-building or re-shaping from the back out, a la Nashville Predators, then do it right. Getting a high-quality #1 goalie with the recently reinforced blue line would be akin to what a bottle of Maalox could do for a 10 year heartburn. Those of you out there reading this know exactly what I’m talking about. And, I am not buying the cowdung that no one wants to come to our metropolis. We just aren’t trying hard enough or trying at all. When GM Howson states publicly that they are satisfied with the goalie situation, most clubs ownership would not deem that to be an acceptable position to take.
The optimistic side of me wishes that maybe something is in the offing with the impending Rick Nash trade that might net us a true #1 goalie but should we once again get our hopes up only to be dashed….for the umpteenth time….like a jilted prom queen?
Signing Nick Foligno and Adrian Aucoin is all well and good but it’s just the parsley that comes with the steak. Alright, not quite parley but certainly not filet mignon! Signing Curtis McElhinney makes sense for AHL Springfield and the signing of other goalies at junior level are years away from NHL greatness.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am posing the question, “Exactly what the hell have the Columbus Blue Jackets done to address their most glaring weakness in the last 2 years?” Not a hell of a lot!